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    #46
    ^^^^^^ Juan
    Long story short, jab is a male.
    Active member in Bersa Forums since 03-13-2005.

    Certified Armed Infidel

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      #47
      Juance upon a time......

      Juan notices his pueblo is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

      So Juan runs for pueblo council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don't beat my cow."

      And people go nuts for it. They love Juan. They vote in the election and Juan wins in a landslide. So now Juan is a pueblo council member and he's doing a great job. He fixes potholes and helps local schools. Someone suggests he run for mayor since he's so well liked. Juan thinks: "Yeah I'm doing a great job I should run for mayor."

      So Juan runs for mayor. He thinks: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" and he uses his slogan from the last election. "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don't beat my cow."

      And people go nuts for it. They love Juan. They vote in the election and Juan wins in a landslide. So now Juan is the mayor and he's doing a great job. He lowers taxes and fixes traffic lights. Someone suggests he run for governor since he's so well liked. Juan thinks: "Yeah I'm doing a great job I should run for governor."

      So Juan runs for governor using the slogan : "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don't beat my cow."

      And people go nuts for it. They love Juan. They vote in the election and Juan wins in a landslide. So now Juan is the governor and he's doing a great job. He brings more tourism to the state and repaves highways. Someone suggests he run for congress since he's so well liked. Juan thinks: "Yeah I'm doing a great job I should run for congress."

      So Juan runs for congress using the slogan : "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don't beat my cow."

      And people go nuts for it. They love Juan. They vote in the election and Juan wins in a landslide. So now Juan is in congress and he's doing a great job. He's getting bills passed and reaching across the aisle. Someone suggests he run for presidente since he's so well liked. Juan thinks: "Yeah I'm doing a great job I should run for presidente."

      So Juan runs for president using the slogan : "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don't beat my cow."

      And people go nuts for it. They love Juan. So much so, that Juan's opponent in the presidential race tells the public to vote for Juan. Juan wins in a landslide and now he's the presidente. But this time he's not doing such a good job. He's not making good deals with foreign countries, taxes go up, and there's road closures everywhere. The public turns on Juan and they're looking for anything to use against him.

      The pressure gets to Juan. One day he comes home and his wife hasn't made dinner yet and he gets so mad, he gets so angry, he gets so upset that he beats his wife. His kids, hearing the commotion, run into the kitchen yelling and screaming. Juan so angry that he beats his kids, too. Juan then realizes what he's done and goes to see his cow to calm down. He starts to milk his cow, remembering simpler days when he was just a farmer in a small town. And just as he's about to finish filling the bucket with milk, the cow kicks it over. Enraged, Juan beats his cow.

      And he's so disappointed in himself. He's let down his wife, his kids, his cow, and his country.

      Well one of his political opponents hears about his trouble and leaks it to the press. The public is livid. They hate Juan. He lied to them! He does beat his wife! He does beat his kids! He does beat his cow! They cry for impeachment. Juan decides to hold a press conference to address the nation.

      Juan gets up on stage to make his speech when someone in the crowd yells "Down with Juan!" and shoots him with a golf gun.

      Not sure what a golf gun is, but it sure put a hole in Juan.

      Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.

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        #48



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          #49
          Good! Looks like that lousy joke blew up the thread.
          Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.

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            #50
            It WAS Juan long story.
            Firestorm UC9mm
            My 2000 New Beetle was the y2k bug that everyone was worried about...
            NOW proud owner of a 2003 Jetta GLS TDI in Navy Blue

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