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Astute Observations

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    Astute Observations

    Found this on another forum.

    There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dipchit's.

    The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

    I live in my own little world, but it's OK. Everyone knows me there.

    I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with ’Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Left Tackle?’

    I don't do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

    I don't like political jokes. I've seen too many get elected.

    The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

    If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary’s.

    Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

    Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

    No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team's winning.

    Marriage changes passion . . . suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

    Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

    Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. Number 2 doesn't work for me since I didn't go to college, but rest of it pretty well fits.

    Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

    I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't need the freakin' class!

    Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

    Wouldn't you know it! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

    Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison????
    Think Green.......Recycle Congress

    Certified Armed Infidel

    Right Wing Extremist

    Re: Astute Observations

    All are funny; the last is worth considering.
    Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.


      Re: Astute Observations

      Don't agree with the trade-in value one, but the rest are pretty good.
      Montani Semper Liberi