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Male Explanations

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  • ParaCav
    replied
    My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better every day

    Leave a comment:


  • groberts
    replied
    Charlie's two words on Two and a Half Men that turned him from a misogynistic douche to the friend of all women "I understand". It means I don't know what you said and I don't care but I do want to get laid.

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  • mitchr
    started a topic Male Explanations

    Male Explanations


    These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...

    "IT'S A GUY THING"
    Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
    Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

    "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
    Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
    I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

    "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
    Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
    Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."
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